The Quote That Stopped Me in My Tracks

by James Smith, Executive Director

There are moments when a single sentence cuts through the noise and forces you to stop.

I remember hearing this one clearly:

“There are only two things you get from the past: pleasant memories and lessons learned.”

Nothing else.

That quote came to mind again recently after two separate conversations I had with young professionals in their 30s. Both were carrying heavy regret about decisions they made in their 20s—career choices, relationships, paths they didn’t take.

One of them said something that stuck with me:“I feel like I’m starting over because of mistakes I made.” Another said, "I feel like a failure...like I wasted 10 years of my life. I'm at the same place I was 10 years ago."

What I heard underneath those statements wasn’t just frustration—it was guilt. A feeling of being behind. A belief that past decisions had permanently limited their future.

And immediately, it took me back to a season in my own life.

When the Past Feels Louder Than the Future

I heard that quote during my divorce—a time when I was trying to make sense of where I was, how I got there, and what came next.

My thoughts swung between guilt and discouragement:

• guilt over things I should have done differently

• disappointment over failing at something that mattered deeply

• frustration with myself for not being more focused or certain earlier in my career

It’s easy, in those moments, to live in the rearview mirror. To replay decisions. To wonder how different life might look if you’d just chosen better.

But that’s exactly when that quote stopped me cold.

Two Things. That’s It.

Not shame. Not regret. Not punishment.

Just two things:

Pleasant memories — the moments worth appreciating, even if they belong to a chapter that’s closed.

Lessons learned — the wisdom earned the hard way.

Everything else is excess baggage.

That realization didn’t erase the pain—but it gave it boundaries. It reminded me that the past is meant to inform us, not imprison us.

How This Shaped Me as a Leader

That mindset didn’t just change how I viewed my own past—it shaped how I chose to lead others.

When I stepped into leadership roles, I made a conscious decision: I would not let mistakes define an employee’s future.

Mistakes are not disqualifiers. They are the best teachers.

When something is done, it’s done. The only question that matters next is: What did we learn?

Let’s apply the lesson. Let’s adjust. And then let’s move forward.

Dragging people—or ourselves—back through past mistakes doesn’t produce growth. It produces fear. And fear never builds strong teams or confident leaders.

A Message Worth Hearing Early

Those conversations with younger professionals reminded me how common this struggle is.

So many people believe they’ve “missed their chance” or fallen too far behind because of decisions they made earlier in life. But growth doesn’t have an expiration date—and wisdom rarely arrives without missteps.

The future doesn’t ask for a perfect past.It asks for clarity, focus, and courage now.

Focus Forward

If you’re feeling stuck, here’s the shift that matters:

• Stop reliving what you can’t change

• Start extracting what you can learn

• Refocus your energy on what’s next

The past only gives you two things. If you take anything else, you’re carrying weight you don’t need.

Final Thought

This quote didn’t magically fix everything for me—but it gave me permission to stop living backward. I've learned a lot of lessons from mistakes and each one made me better.

Keep the memories that bring gratitude.Keep the lessons that bring wisdom.Release the rest.

Leadership—and life—move forward.