The Myth of Balance: How to Build Rhythm Instead

James Smith, Executive Director

“You just need to find balance.”

It’s one of the most common pieces of advice we hear—and one of the most frustrating. As someone who’s spent years juggling roles (currently as Chamber Director, small business owner, grandparent, Scout leader, husband, and occasional book-writing adventurer, I can tell you one thing for sure:

There is no perfect balance. At least not the kind people talk about on social media with color-coded planners and calm, tidy mornings.

In fact, in many of the jobs I’ve had—especially ones I loved—I could’ve worked 60 hours a week and still not finished everything. Add in running the Rohs Opera House, spending time with Paula and the grandkids, helping with Scouting (which still brings me joy), and carving out time for big-picture goals like writing a new book or planning another adventure? Balance sounds like a joke.

But here’s what I’ve learned: What makes it work isn’t balance… it’s rhythm.

Balance = Pressure. Rhythm = Grace.

Trying to give equal time to everything every week is a fast track to burnout. Something always feels like it’s getting shortchanged. Then the guilt creeps in—and the stress right behind it. The more we seek that "work/life balance" the more stress and guilt we feel.

But when you shift from seeking balance to honoring your rhythm, something beautiful happens. You stop measuring your life in equal pieces… and start recognizing seasons, priorities, and purpose.

Some weeks, the theater needs more of me—like when we’re preparing for a show or trying something brand new. Other times, my family needs the lion’s share—birthday parties, school events, or just an afternoon with the grandkids. There are weeks I’m head-down working on Chamber stuff or preparing a keynote speech. And sometimes, I sneak in a day to think, write, or just wander.

And you know what? That’s okay.

Rhythm in Real Life: 4 Simple Ideas

You don’t need to be a superhuman to live with rhythm—you just need to be intentional.

Here’s what’s helped me:

1. Accept that “balance” isn’t the goal.

Stop aiming for perfectly equal parts. Life doesn’t work that way. Instead, ask:

“What matters most this week?” “Who needs me most right now?”

Then adjust. Give yourself permission to lean into one thing more than another.

2. Build flexible anchors.

I try to have a few non-negotiables in my week that keep me grounded. Maybe it’s a walk, a grandkid pick-up, or just checking in with a friend. These “anchors” provide rhythm, even when everything else is in motion.

3. Plan for the next season.

If your current week feels off-kilter (too much work, not enough rest), look ahead. What can you shift next week to restore the flow? Rhythm doesn’t mean every week is equal—it means there’s a flow over time.

4. Don’t ignore your own goals.

Sometimes we give our best energy to work or others, and leave scraps for our own dreams. I’m learning that writing a chapter, taking a short trip, or even just dreaming a little keeps me energized for everything else.

Let Go of Guilt, Grab Hold of Rhythm

Life won’t always look balanced. Sometimes it’ll be messy. You’ll miss a meeting or forget a deadline. You’ll feel behind. You’ll get overwhelmed.

But if your life has rhythm—purposeful, meaningful rhythm—you’ll find your way back.

Some seasons are full throttle. Others are quiet and healing. Both matter.

So if you’re feeling like you’re failing at “balance,” take heart. Maybe you’re just hearing the beat of a new season… and it’s time to move with it.

—Let’s keep leading with grace instead of guilt. Want help creating a rhythm in your business? I’d love to hear from you.